“In minute you expect, at that minute you will be disappointed”. This sentence will probably make people think. In English, ‘hope’ have similarities with ‘Want’, ‘wish’, ‘desire’, ‘Longing’, ‘craving’. So, if I expect something, it means I want something, and the result of it there are only two. Fulfilled or not at all. If met, no problems, the heart merry. But what if our expectations are not met? I do not need to explain what words will come out of the mouth.

Hoping is not an easy action as easy as reversing the palm of the hand. Said it was easy but the end result can make our heart beat. Dare to hope means daring to risk, and therefore, required strength inside and outside.

I used to think, ‘hope’ is something that I want and definitely will happen. Why? Because many of my expectations then come true and even occur more than my expectation. Until one day my mother died in the relatively young age, 45 years old. While I have some hope that humans will not be short-lived my mother’s age at death. Over time, many of my hopes did not come true. Then I learned something……  in minute I want something, in that minute I limit my other desire to enter. I think, ‘hope’ makes me become ‘not flexible person’ and if person could not be flexible, they will easily ‘broken’.
So I think, in ‘hope’ there is uncertainty factor. So one day, I really do not want to hope anymore because obviously I am a weak man who is not ready to receive the final result (if the end result was not as expected). Then later, I think again .. I often pray and end the prayer with the phrase: ‘will be as HIS will’. What does it mean?  Means… I can just ask a million wish, but which one is approved or not, it’s not my right to decide. But in the bottom of my hearts, I felt I was lying. I am a human being who if already filed the hopes and desires .. then that desire should be fulfilled.

Now I do not want to be disappointed again. When I get a chance to return to the unseen, I just express the facts in prayer, not desire. The excitement was not because of wish fulfillment, but fulfillment of the facts. The excitement was not in ‘hope’, but on a certainty.

Thus, the resigned raises a joy, because it has meaning to work and live with HIS certainty, which in turn negate the existence of self.

by : Samuel Mulia.